I am trying to raise money for a headstone for my daughter genevive.

As many of you know I lost my baby this past January. I gave birth to twins 3 months early. Genevive was 3 lb 1 oz, and Lillian was 1 lb 13 oz. They were tiny, and had the usual preemie issues. But the doctors said they were doing well, and just needed to learn to eat and gain some weight before going home. We had a marvelous two weeks. Each baby had their own distinct personality. Lillian was a feisty baby, if she wasn't sleeping she was kicking and ripping out her tubes. Genevive was very social, she loved to be held and talked to. She smiled a lot, and was always awake. She never wanted to miss a thing! The only time she ever fussed was when she was being put back into her isolette. The nurses called her a social butterfly, she was a rare infant.

However Genevive got very sick one day, we were told she had a disease called Necrotizing Enterocolitis (NEC). She was rushed in for immediate surgery, where 75 percent of her bowel was removed. NEC kills off the gastrointestinal system. We had a rough day, and she did not do well. So they brought her in for a second surgery 24 hours later and discovered the remaining bowel was dead. They said she wouldn't survive the next 24 to 36 hours. She passed away in my arms after 4.


Losing Genevive is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. Grieving has been challenging for Eddy and I. We still had Lillian, Genevive's twin, in the Neonatal intensive care unit. Having to walk in that hospital every day after losing Genevive was a heartbreaking reminder, not to mention being afraid Lillian would not make it home either. After 67 days Lillian did come home from the NICU, and we quickly learned it would not make our journey any easier. Losing a multiple is much more complicated than losing a single baby. You have a daily, visual reminder of your pain. Sometimes that is comforting, and sometimes it makes grieving even worse.

It is really so unfair, babies aren't supposed to die. I try to take time to grieve and remember her. I also work very hard to be sure she isn't forgotten by others. However, we cannot even afford to get her a headstone. She deserves to have a special marker for her grave. She was such a special baby. I feel her drifting farther away as time goes on, and I feel I have failed her. Visiting a her grave has become painful for me. It is just a rectangle of dirt. We tried decorating it with some colored stones, but they were ruined the next time I visited.

I am hoping everyone will take the time to repost this in their myspace, facebook or blogs. And if anyone has anything to spare to help us get a headstone for genevive that would be wonderful. Even a dollar helps. We have a chipin page where people can donate via paypal.
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And if anyone is interested more info about genevive is on my blog.
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And I keep her photos here, from birth to death. It means a lot to me that people still look at her photos and acknowledge her.
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